


Don't make promises you can't keep

by Ariestals



Category: Far Cry (Video Games), Far Cry 5, Far Cry: New Dawn
Genre: Dysfunctional Family, Eden's Gate, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/M, Family Drama, Family Issues, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Mutual Pining, Past Abuse, Physical Abuse, The Book of Joseph
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-08
Updated: 2020-11-09
Packaged: 2021-03-02 22:20:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 12
Words: 17,917
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24074338
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ariestals/pseuds/Ariestals
Summary: The life of Grace Thornwood, from abusive holdhouse to life in a cult.
Relationships: Joseph Seed & Original Female Character(s), Joseph Seed/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 22
Kudos: 35





	1. Endings. Beginnings.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time writing in YEARS so excuse this mess. A lot of people wanted to hear Grace's story so here it is. Any comments, tips & anything else is greatly appreciated!
> 
> You can contact me here or over on Instagram; @ariestals

Joining a cult wasn’t exactly the _first_ thing on her mind when Grace first thought about running away from home. It was meant to be a simple task, pack her things and catch the first bus out of here but of course - _fate just had to stop her._

  
Cold and nimble fingers grab the edge of her jacket sleeves as she walks up to her usual Sunday Church yet this time it’s different, there is no choir singing, no usual smiling preacher that greets her at the door, the usual's aren’t there as well. The sermon for today was to be held by a special group she had heard people talking about, their quiet mutters of the word **Eden’s Gate** must of had something to do with it and the posters that scattered the shop walls, the floor and the outside of the Church made it pretty obvious as well.

She is a nervous girl, nails always digging into the palms of her hands, the dark circles under her eyes leaves no one guessing when it comes to her lack of sleep. A tired soul; life has beaten her down one too many times and this place seemed to be the one last chance she has.

Yet it’s not the comments peoples had been making that made her want to leave, it’s what they stood for was something that made her curious. Of course, her usual Sunday a Church visits did not cause suspicion when it came to her **abusive** Mother, why would someone worry about religion in a small town. They would pray morning and evening, before eating and before they slept. A small scoff leaves her lips as Grace walks up to the door - men guarding the doors with guns in hand, not exactly the most welcoming but she paid it no mind. A group of strangers walking into a small town? Better to be safe than sorry. 

She quickly takes her seat at the front like usual, the crowd much different to what she’s used to as she watches the armed men and woman scurry around, some placing extra chairs, papers and books in the arms of others, all seeming to be in a rush yet it’s as the two men walk inside the front doors everything seems to go _silent_ , the only sound to be heard was her own breathing in her ears and her heartbeat too loud that she worries others can hear it. The dimly lit room suddenly causing a strange tension and heaviness in the air, the soft light of candles the only thing that brightens the room for people to see. 

The first man, smaller is stature compared onto the other yet a lot more **clean** shaven, neat, the complete opposite compared with the other much taller, rugged and bulkier man beside him. She comes to learn the neater one is John Seed and beside him, his ginger sibling Jacob Seed. Grace could tell she wouldn't of gotten along with that one if she had met him outside, too rough and _aggressive_ for her liking.

  
For a moment it’s quiet, like they’re letting themselves take in the room. Grace feels herself shift in her chair ever so slightly, the tension suddenly making her feel uncomfortable, fingers fidgeting yet again with the edge of cloth on her worn out jacket.

“You are here because you are scared.”

The man, John, begins.

“Scared because of what you see on the news, and what you hear on the radio. Deception. Divisiveness. _Godlessness_. Who’s In charge? Who is accountable?”

A moment pause, a finger pointing towards the crowd, towards a random gentleman at the back, back towards an older woman near the front, and it seems this man has done the speech a thousand times over because it seems too perfect. He continues.

“But there is an answer to that fear. And that answer has a name. And that name..is **Joseph Seed**.”

Grace hadn’t realised she had been holding her breath till the man had finished talking yet it was her heartbeat that had picked up its pace as the tension in the man's tone of voice had rose. The cheers from men and woman abrupt from the crowd, hands clapping and it was deafening to say the least. 

The doors opened, a little **dramatic** , the whole theatrics of this had brought a small smirk upon her lips. At least this little sermon had given her something to smile about. Yet little did Grace know that the man walking down the aisle towards her would be someone that would change her life forever.


	2. Meeting The Father

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Grace finally gets to have a one to one with the man himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm glad people enjoyed the first one so here's a much longer second chapter! Comments are appreciated 💕
> 
> As always, if you wish to contact me you can over on Instagram at; @ariestals

It was as Joseph Seed better known as The Father to others had entered the Church the atmosphere had completely changed, the air charged with electricity yet no one uttered a word as he took his brother’s place. John shuffling a few steps away to still stand beside his brother.

  
“I want you to all close your eyes for a moment, and I want you to think about the world outside this Church. And as you sit there alone in your personal **darkness** , can you see how sick our society has become?”

  
He was a smart man, his way with words, the way he carried himself, of course people would find him charming and Grace was a fool, she fell for it herself. It was as Joseph spoke she found herself on the edge of her seat, nails not digging her into palms as usual but into the wood of her seat as she found herself inching forward ever so slightly, as if his words were drawing her in even further. It was the most sense she'd heard in a long time.

  
Yet it wasn't his charm that had originally caught her attention, it was his words, his promises of freedom, of safety, of love & affection – something she had lacked ever since she was a child. Abuse would do that to you, especially when it came to her own family. A stabbing of guilt in her own heart as the man’s words echoed through her head, what would her Mother think? Of course Grace knew what her Mother would do if she found Grace listening to this _mad man_ instead of her usual preacher. Just the thought was enough, how her Mother’s fingers would grasp her thin upper arm, nails digging into flesh and dragging her only daughter back home to their farm. She could hear her words now as a hand came to slap her across the top of her head. Yes she's _sadly_ had to deal with similar instances before.

  
“That man knows **nothing** of God,Grace. Don't listen to his _lies_ and _delusions_.” Yet she found herself doing that very thing right now.

  
“ - I look right into your hearts and I see how much pain you have, because the world out there cuts you so deep.”

  
It was only as she snapped out of her daze the man before her was staring directly at her, Joseph's eyes baring into her very soul as he spoke. For a moment she's caught off guard, throat suddenly becoming drying as he stares at her for a moment longer as if he had been listening to her very thoughts just a few moments ago - yet he breaks the stare, goes back to his speech as if nothing happened. Even John had given her a quick glance before turning back to the rest of the Church himself, a strange bunch indeed. She laughs in her mind.

  
“Don’t be a **fool** Grace. _He can't hear your thoughts_.”

  
The speech continues, it's the last few lines that catches her off guard, and something clicks.

  
“We **love** you. We want you. We accept you _exactly_ the way you are. Every single one of you. And I stand here asking you to join us, and you will find your **peace** with us.”

  
It’s the last few words that seem to echo through her mind even after it had long been over.

  
_“I am your Father, and you are my children.”_

  
.....

  
It was as the sermon ended and everyone had begun to flood out of the Church Grace finds herself wondering what to do herself, should she leave and go home? Would it be rude to not stay a few minutes and at least thank them for the service. Yet again the bundle of nerves catches up to her, her mind coming up with a million and one different scenarios before a voice behind her catches her off guard and brings her back down to Earth.

  
“Enjoy the service?”

  
_John Seed_ , the charming man who seemed a little too well made to be in a place like this. Grace simply turns, thin lips curl into a smile as she faces the man yet again. The other brother Jacob, seemed to be busy talking to a group of armed followers a few feet away, too busy talking about..well god knows what to be paying any attention to what her and John were talking about. Jacob seemed to avoid conversations, at least that was _something_ that had in common.

  
“ - I did.” A moments pause, her gaze coming down before travelling back up his clothes to look back up at his face again. The man seemed too perfect, hair combed, clothes clean and tidy, and from what she could tell he had plenty of money to boot. What’s the excuse for Jacob then? The ginger man seemed like he had been dragged through the woods a number of times and the aggression on his face? He wasn't a man to mess with, army perhaps from the look of it.

  
“I haven't had a service like that in a while. Your brother has a way with words.”

  
The smile that reaches Johns lips is almost sickly, he loves his brother that's for sure as the way he smiles shows that. He's proud. Grace simply returns the smile, Johns smile compared to her awkward one just makes the back of her mind scream, _run away before you mess anything up_. Maybe the lack of communication had caused her social skills to be dreadful but this conversation seemed to be getting worse with every word that left her lips.

  
“He does, I hope you'll join us for another. Joseph seemed pretty interested in you that's for sure, though maybe it was because half way through you seemed a little... **distracted**.”

  
Air catches in her throat, she quickly clears it with a cough before shaking her head. Ah damn it, she came across as rude to them. That wasn't her intention at all.

  
“Oh not at all.” Grace is shaking her head at this point. “Just something your brother said reminded me of my Mother that’s all.” She tried to quickly avoid the topic all the together, body twisting as if she's going to walk away but is quickly brought back by his words. The smile softening of his lips yet his eyes shone with something she did not expect to see. _Sadness_.

  
“I hope nothing too bad.” A hand comes up to lightly pat her shoulder. A comforting gesture but it still made her **flinch** none the less.

  
“It's fine. Thank you for coming over to talk to me, it's been a pleasure meeting you.” She has to find a way to end the conversation because as she said this Joseph, this so called _Father_ is already on his way over. Fingers fidget, she has to force herself to close them into fists to stop her nerves from showing. But the conversation was just a few seconds too long as the brother had already appeared beside them. A quiet whisper in John’s ear already has him saying goodbye and turning to leave. " _No please come back. Don’t leave me alone with him_."

  
“I wanted to.. _apologise_ if I seemed rude back there.” A tiny wave of her hand, eyes struggling to even make eye contact with him as she speaks. “It was just something you said made me think of my Mother.” She bares a tiny smile, the man a few inches taller than her seeming a lot taller now as he stands before her. “I found your words **inspiring** actually. I've never experienced that before in any of the previous services.” A shaky hand comes up to tuck a strand of loose blonde hair behind her ear, eyes glancing up at him.

  
It takes a moment for Joseph to pull together his words, the young woman before him could simply be compared to a scared mouse, shaking on the spot. Too scared to run away. A light laugh escapes his lips, a small wave of his hand himself and a shake of his head.

  
“No apology needed - Grace was it?” An eyebrow raised, a hand out for it to be taken.

  
“Grace Thornwood. You can just call me Grace though, and you're..the Father.” She extends a hand, shaky fingers find themselves curled around his own and it’s _warm_. How formal did she have to be with this man? Before her mind can come up with a million questions and answers again he had already spoken for her. The lightness in his tone making her feel at ease already, the bundle of nerves gone in an instant as she pulls her hand away.

  
“You can call me that if you prefer, but if not _Joseph_ is fine as well. Not everyone seems to be good when it comes to formalities.” A light shrug of his shoulders. Ah, she sees what he's trying to do trying to make her feel more comfortable and at ease, sadly it's **working**.

  
As stupid as she was she found him relaxing, not as mad as her Mother would accuse him to be. Joseph Seed himself seemed pretty relaxed, a completely different person to who he was while up on that stage doing his speech. Right now he just seemed, pretty..normal.

  
“I really should head back; I've stayed for far too long already and my Mother is going to wonder where I am.” She's quick to try and end the conversation, not because she wanted to but she knew how her Mother would react if she was any later than she already was. Yet it's Joseph's reaction that catches her attention, the sudden cheerful expression he had dropped slightly – _disappointment_. A similar expression to what John had shown earlier.

  
Before Grace can turn to leave he quickly pipes up, hand extended as if to reach for her but quickly pulls back.

  
“We are having another sermon next Sunday before we leave.” And there's that smile again.

  
”I hope we see you there.”

  
“I wouldn't miss it.” The smile on her own lips growing wider as she goes to leave. Is she an **idiot**? _Yes_. But this group, these people, it had been the most welcoming group of people she had come across in a long time and maybe this was the chance she needed to finally get out of this hell for good.


	3. Something's not right at home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not much to add but warnings for abuse, if that makes you uncomfortable feel free to skip a chapter (however it's a big part of Grace!) As always comments and kudos are appreciated 💕
> 
> Feel free to contact me over on Instagram; @ariestals

Grace is fast on her feet as she makes her way home, shoes scuffing on the pebbled, rocky path up   
to her Mothers farm. She's out of breath once she reaches the gates but her heart drops as soon as   
her eyes land on the one person she didn't want to see. **Her Mother** \- arms crossed, face twisted in a   
sign of _disgust_. The way her Mother looks at her sets her off, stomach **churning** , cheeks burning up,   
her mind spinning in a panic with answers she’s going to come up with. It makes her feel sick. Grace knew she got too caught up in talking to the Seeds. She didn't even want to think of them right now.

Her feet slow, movements become slow and _cowardly_ as she tries her best to just walk past her   
Mom, head held low, eyes kept to the ground yet it's her Mother that pipes up first, hands curled   
into the fists she gotten so used to in the past.

  
To everyone in the neighbourhood she’s a _perfect_ , hardworking Mom who had to suffer all these   
years raising a daughter and keeping up a farm without a partner. To Grace she’s a twisted **Monster** ,   
what happens behind closed doors is never mentioned outside, not a single word and Grace knows   
the consequence if she ever did.

  
“The neighbours saw you today at Church, but it wasn't Pastor _Matthew_ was it?” She questions, eyes   
raised and she's glaring down at her this time waiting for an answer. “The Burtons came home early   
when they found out it was them **nut jobs** that rolled into town.” She grabs the back of Grace's   
jacket and pushes her towards the door. ” **Get in**.” 

  
She’s definitely in trouble now, wriggling around trying to get out of her Mothers grip as she's forced   
inside. The door locked as soon as they get in. “What is _wrong_ with you?!” A slap to the back of her   
head. ”You **never** listen to me Grace. I'm doing what's _best_ for you.” A huff escapes her lips,   
watching her daughter as she turns. 

  
“There's nothing _wrong_ with them Mo-” And there's the second slap, this one across her face.

  
“Don’t talk over me.”

  
A moment of silence falls upon them before her Mother speaks again, hands coming up but this   
times it's gentle, soft against her face as she cups Grace face. An expression of _disappointment_   
crosses her features, fingertips stroking Grace’s cheeks as she continues. ”If you **ever** see them Seeds   
and that group again come straight home.” Fingertips dig into flesh, holding her face in place - no   
matter how much she struggles Grace wouldn't be getting away that easy. 

  
“ _ **Understood**_?”

  
“Yes..” Even deeper they go, nails into skin and she's sure they're drawing blood at this point.

  
“Yes **what**?”

  
“Yes Mom. I'm _sorry_..” 

  
Sweet relief as her Mother pulls away. A smile on her face as she walks away, patting her shoulder   
before she leaves. ”Good girl. They're nothing but trouble Grace and I'm trying to protect you. I want   
you to understand that..” And then she's gone, disappearing into the kitchen as if nothing just   
happened. 

  
Her own hand comes up to brush the fresh marks, a quiet wince escapes her lips as fingertips touch   
the wound, wiping the blood away. Grace sighs, walking away to the bathroom to clean herself up. 

.....

The evening falls upon the household, the farm had been quiet today and Grace spent most of the   
day in her room, only coming down for lunch but even then it was an _awkward_ silence. Nothing   
spoken as they ate their soup and then got on with their day.

  
As the blonde girl comes down to get a glass of water her Mother passed out on the sofa, tv **blaring**   
out some old beer commercials that she'd never seen before. She wouldn't have seen many anyway   
as she's not allowed to watch TV. She sneaks past, careful to not wake her Mother as she grabs the   
glass, stuffing some cereal bars in her pocket to take up with her in case she got hungry. As quick as   
she came down Grace is back upstairs - _as quiet as a mouse_. 

  
The hours go by, clock ticking in the quiet house as she lays on her bed, Grace has her mind   
elsewhere, mostly fixed on the events on today but also coming up with a plan. She's done with it all,   
she's leaving this place and **never** coming back. Her mind drifts in and out, thinking of the sermon   
earlier and what both John and Joseph had said to her, how they looked at her when speaking of her   
own Mother. Everyone has family issues don’t they? Maybe this was perfectly normal..

  
“No Grace..” She mutters to herself, a quiet sigh leaves her, fingers brought up to brush through her   
mess of hair. “This isn’t normal..” She couldn't count the times she's had to cover bruises, cuts, a blackened eye at one point where it got so bad - no one ever **questioned** it because they never _saw_ it.

  
She rises from her bed, grabbing a backpack as fast as she could as she's stuffing clothes into it,   
grabbing whatever she can without making too much noise and she adds the cereal bars from earlier   
as good measure. A shaky breath leaves her lips, she's a coward just like her Mother says - but   
maybe today that's going to change. Staying here is simply suicide. 

  
It's been going on too long, the emotional and physical abuse takes it toll in the end. Anyone would   
snap from it. The countless words she's been called throwing themselves in her head. _”A Coward.”_  
 _”A disappointment.”_ A small laugh escapes her lips. _”I wish I never had you..”_ the smile quickly fades,   
the finally things added to her bag as she zips it up and puts it on.

  
While she's putting her old scuffed up shoes on she ponders for a moment, questioning if this really   
was a stupid idea. Yet her mind wanders to what they said this morning at the Church, at least it was   
more promising than what happened at home. Teeth nibbling at the soft skin of her cheek, doing the   
final shoe lace up she sneaks out the door, Grace isn't coming back.

" _We love you. We want you. We except you exactly the way you are."_

Eden’s Gate is her only hope for a better life. 


	4. Saviour

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Grace finally manages to get away from her Mother.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you're all enjoying it so far! As always comments & feedback are appreciated, you can also contact me over at @ariestals on Instagram if you have questions!

Her breathing is heavy, chest **burning** as feet carry her further and further away from the place she once called home. Grace doesn't look back, she just keeps running to the one place she knows were _they'll_ be.

As she reaches the Church it's late in the evening, the odd few followers making sure everything is ready before they leave for the day. For a moment Grace ponders, it's a _stupid_ _idea_ really but the only one she's got. A sigh escapes her lips, mind spinning with questions as she sneaks back into the Church. It takes a few minutes, making sure no wandering eyes catch her as she passes - can't risk getting caught now, especially when you've got armed men at the doors.

Hands grasp the broken wood of the window frame, it's as she peeks in she notices the one person she wanted to see – someone she knows wouldn't turn her away. John Seed. She makes sure her bag is still strapped to her body as she sneaks in through the window, the creaking floor too loud for her liking as her feet step onto the uneven wooden flooring of the Church. A quick dip and her small figure is hidden behind one of the benches, listening for any signs of movement or discussion on the other side.

Not much seems to be going on, a scuffling of paper, and faint voices – one John while the other is a stranger to her. A peek over the top reveals a map in Johns hands, fingers brushing over the worn paper as he maps out where they're off to next. His brows knit together in a sign of concentration and a tongue dips out to wet his bottom lip before he speaks.

“This is our last stop till we head **north** -” A moments pause, eyes moving as he speaks across the map. ”We should have enough people by then, Jacob has already gathered enough equipment and Joseph is still sure of the **plan** he has set out for us..” A shallow sigh is released, hand now coming up to rub across the bridge of his nose before rubbing tired eyes. It's as the man leaves John’s side Grace has made no other decisions, this is what she has to do and she knows this is the only way she is getting the freedom she desires. The door shuts behind her and she is off, stepping towards John with no chance of stopping.

” _John_ \- ” Her voice cuts through the sudden silence, steps still continuing as she gets closer to the man before her. It takes him a second to recognise her in the dim light but he knows who it is and who the voice belongs to. Blonde hair blurs his vision, the smaller shadow merely getting closer as he speaks. “ _Grace?_ Why are you he -”

She cuts him off, hand reaching out and fingers **gripping** at the edge of his jacket, pulling him almost in a desperation. Her breathing is ragged, eyes red and sore from what looks like had been tears and plenty of them. From the looks of it Grace looks just as tired as he was feeling right now.

“John **please** , _you have to help me._ ” 

.....

  
It takes a few moments for John to calm the young woman down, hands carefully rest on her shoulders to steady her breathing. ” - calm down. You're okay.” A wonky smile on his lips as he rubs a thumb over the curve on her shoulder. He ponders for a moment, it's almost as if he can hear her heart thumping hard against her chest as he thinks. There isn't many options at this point.

“Come. We're getting in my car and we're taking you to Joseph.”

For a split second she freezes on the spot, does she really want to cause even more **trouble** for these brothers? Pulling John into this mess was one thing but Joseph as well? At this point she's _desperate_ , clinging to any thread she can get her hands on.

Grace follows like a lost sheep, keeping close to his side as he leads her out of the Church, open the door of his car and shutting it behind her. It's **lavish** to say the least, seats you can sink into, dashboard _sleek_ and modern – nothing she's seen before. She's used to dirty old tractors back at home, nothing as glamorous as this.

The drive is quiet, Grace merely watches the trees go by as they drive past, a passing blur before the next one appears. John himself is quiet, fingers curled around the wheel as he drives and his eyes focused on the road before him. It’s only after a while Grace pipes up again, shifting awkwardly to her side to look at him. 

“Thank you for doing this..” Her voice drifts off for a second before she speaks again. “You could have just said no and turned me away but you didn't..” John doesn't reply for a second before speaking again, it’s almost as if she can see the cogs turning in his mind as he thinks about his next choice of words. “I wouldn't be doing my job right if I turned people away - “A soft chuckle escapes his lips, a quick glance at her before his eyes dart back to the road again. “It's nothing though, don't worry about it.” The rest of the drive is more endless silence yet Grace can't help but think about his choice of words _”I wouldn't be doing my job right if I turned people away.”_ What did that even **mean**?

The drive isn't much longer, the next they're pulling into a small patch of land on top of a hill, Church and small cabins scatter the land – only a few cars are parked outside the Church, the same armed men she had seen at the other place are also walking around. Climbing out of the car Grace continues to stick by John, fingers curl, nails digging into her palms as she keeps her eyes on the path before her never turning to meet the armed men beside her. 

It’s as they approach the old wooden Church the doors creak as they open. The man that steps forth is the one that Grace had been worrying about meeting the whole drive here. Yet the **concern** that is across his features makes her heart drop and stomach _ache_. It feels tense all of a sudden, her heartbeat quickening as he gets closer to the young woman and his brother. Grace remains quiet however, her gaze quickly falling to the fall to meet his eyes. Yet Joseph doesn't fight it, he doesn't get mad, the gentle touch on her shoulder is more than enough to make her feel at ease, the stress of today and everything else that had been built up inside sudden vanishing like smoke. It takes everything she has to not break down at this very moment, her weak shell threatening to break any second. She blinks to tears away, a quick glance up and the man is merely smiling. “ _Come_.” And that's all it takes for her to break that threshold and step into the Church. 

Once settled at the table Joseph simply takes the seat beside her, eyes watching over Grace as she squirms uncomfortably in the chair. Nerves. She goes to open her mouth and say something but simply closes it again, biting the inside of her cheek. Her mind is **clouded** with emotions, fighting with one another for dominance. She doesn't know what to feel right now.

“I'm not going to hurt you.” For a moment he smiles voice cutting through the silence, trying his best to ease the situation but he knows she's going through a lot right now. “Take all the time you need.” It's as he says this John walks back in the room, tray in hand and the smell of sweet tea drifts through the air. Camomile? Even the thought of it makes her sleepy, emotions wafting over her. She didn't realise how tired she was till now. John simply places the in front of them, turning to the leave and just giving a brief nod to the door. ”I'll be outside if you need me..” And with that it's just Grace and Joseph again.

Minutes past, fingers curled around the mug as the heat seeps into cold and tired bones. Joseph is simply _watching_ her, careful and waiting for her to finally speak. He's not going to pressure her, he knows for a fact it will be any minute now before she speaks again.

“ - **I'm sorry.** ” A surprising choice of words, a brow raises as if he had never heard the word before. Then she continues. ”I just couldn't bare staying at home any longer..my Mother she..” Her voice cracks and drifts off before she goes back to sipping her tea, wondering how to put her next sentence. It takes a moment for Joseph to puts things together but he thinks he understands the situation - the basics at least.

“You were the first person I thought of so I went to the Church again and when I saw John -” a shrug of her shoulders. ”I thought I had a chance to just... _get away._ ” The man simply nods, a low hum in the back of his throat yet he doesn't question her. He understands completely.

It’s the sound of chair rubbing against wood that makes her jump, Joseph is already of his feet by the time Grace even notices he's up and standing. Hands are outstretched, fingers **begging** for her to take his own.

She simply steps into him, arms enveloping her small frame as they tighten ever so slightly. The hug is comforting, _warm_ , she doesn't realise how desperate she's been for human contact like this - for something that won't harm her. Head rests against his chest, the gentle drumming of his own heartbeat is loud in her ears, the soft breathing brings a comfort. It takes a second before she pulls away again, simply looking up to him for answers. Yet he takes her hands, **strong** holds the _weak_. His fingers cover her own and link together like a cage - yet feeling trapped is not what she's feeling right now. “Just know that no one can hurt you here. I wouldn't allow it.” A kiss is pressed against her knuckles before another is pressed to her forehead. Soft and sweet. “You're _safe_ here. **I promise**.”

As they step back from each other Joseph still has a hand resting on her, gentle upon her shoulder as his fingers brush the dip of her collarbone. ”John will take you from here, get some sleep. Rest.” It's as she's walking away the tiredness hits her, eyes heavy and eyelids struggling to stay open. She turns to the man just as she opens the door. “Thank you Joseph..“ The smiles on her lips is fleeting, disappearing with her as the door closes behind her.

The room is empty again, the man simply sighs and his own hand rubs tired eyes just as John has done earlier. A couple of fools, this was going to be an issue later on - he was sure of it. 


	5. Family Issues

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Grace learns about her new life in the cult yet other matters make her question it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It gets a bit good in this chapter! As always, my Instagram is always open if you wish to ask any questions - feel free to follow me over at @ariestals.
> 
> Comments and kudos are always appreciated! ♡

Over the next few weeks Grace and her relationships with people only grow **stronger**. Her new found family make it as welcoming as they possibly can, teaching her what they do, showing her the routine. It's the same every day; wake up at 6am, morning sermon, breakfast then straight to work - it's a simple yet effective routine, even if she does struggle to get out of bed sometimes. Their cabin is simple, bunk beds lines the outer walls, floors kept clean and tidy and their books on their bedside table. Sharing with a group of girls is nice, _it's like the sleepovers she never had._

This morning is different however, on the rare occasions the young woman takes on a different role, collecting supplies from other regions to bring back to the compound. That morning she is sitting in the truck on their way home, the man beside her who Grace calls ”Daniel” is a quiet one, rarely talking but he is a _nice_ man. He helps her carry heavy loads back to the truck, things 10x bigger than what she is used to carrying back on the farm. Grace is looking out the window at this point, watching the trees as they drive by, merely a colourful blur, followed by the shadow of a wild deer every now and then. The view is as breath taking as ever, that is something she won't get used to - in the early morning when that sun hits the mountain sides? _Beautiful._

Her voice is a whisper as she speaks, trying to not making him jump while he's driving. She doesn't want to overstep that line but he seems open enough.

“Daniel” A second pause to make sure he is listening, her head tilted slightly. ”- What did you do before _all this?_ ” She emphasised the last two words.

For a moment the bigger man is quiet, she thinks he didn't hear her but then his gruff voice breaks that tension. “Used to work in a bank in the city, got **tired** of that life, the people – so I moved to start a new life.” A scoff escapes his chapped lips. ”A quieter one.” 

Grace just gives him a weak smile, a small nod before she turns back to stare at the scenery outside. ”I think everyone wishes for a quieter life. A **better** one..” 

The man doesn't respond to that.

.....

When they reach the compound it is the afternoon, men and woman rushing out to get things done before dinner - the sun slowly descending in the sky. It's the woman that rushes to greet her at the gate that makes her smile wide for the first time in a while – **Rachel Jessop**. Her carefree, cheerful attitude would brighten anyone's day. Clambering out of the truck Grace is quickly enveloped into a _crushing_ hug, the woman giggles filling her air. ”It's a good thing you're back! I was just about to grab you for dinner, it's your **favourite**.”

The two women walk to dinner arm in arm, the small barn crowded in a matter of minutes. A military system put in place; grab your tray, get your food then sit down. It's as Grace sits down beside Rachel she is quiet as she eats, just the company of the woman and others around her is enough. Comforting and warm, the family setting she could only dream of. The woman in front of them, Marlene is chatting away about her day, _complaining_ about some of the men she worked with, Rachel defending their actions with her hands flying around as she speaks. There was always going to be some sort of drama – you can't avoid that.

Yet it's what Marlene says quietly across the table that breaks her concentration on her meal – violet and blue hues glance up to meet the older woman's. ”The baptisms are tomorrow - _are you ready?_ ”

.....

The baptism is on Grace’s mind as the two make their way back to their cabin, Rachel picking up in her nervous state straight away. An arm snakes it’s way around her waist. The bundle of nerves in her stomach almost painful. ”It's okay Grace, you'll be **fine**. Just a quick dip and it's done.” Her voice chimes like a song in the late afternoon air. “I'll be right there with you and so with the other girls. We're in this together.” A comforting squeeze to her waist. ”I _promise_.” It's as they reach the door the other woman smiles, tucking her light brown hair behind her ear. Leaning in slightly she's whispering into Grace’s ear. ”How about we sneak that radio out? Listen to some news before we sleep? That will keep your mind off of things.”

Maybe that wasn't such a bad idea.

.....

_“The body of 39 year old Anna Thornwood has been discovered inside her family home just outside Hope County early this morning. The 39 year old owned a family farm with her only daughter Grace Thornwood who has also been missing for a number of weeks now. No arrests have been made so far.”_

She sees red. The bile in the back of her throat threatening to spill for her mouth as she clasps a hand over her quivering lips. Her Mother _dead_? It can't be. Yet her mind just screams one thing. **Murder.**

Rachel is there trying to calm her down, her cheerful attitude shattered as she breaks down, her words repeating themselves over in her head. ”I'm so _sorry_ Grace. _I’m so sorry._ ” Yet the blonde woman is already on her way to the cabin door, shaky legs and hands and they grip the door handle, struggling to open it through her tears and panic. ”Grace - where are you going? **Please come ba** -” Rachel’s words are quickly cut off as she shuts the door behind her feet dragging her way towards the compounds Church. Everything is crumbling around her. 

It's as she reaches the Church she just gives the man at the door a nod, the sweat on her face not concerning the man - a blank, **brain dead** expression plastered on his face as he focuses his gaze ahead of him. The wooden doors creak as she enters, the old doors rattle as she shuts it behind her. Her breathing is a _struggle_ , panic still laced her blood. Her heartbeat painful against her chest, threatening to break free at any moment.

It’s as she walks down the aisle the man in front of her becomes clear, his body ever so slightly lit by the candles around the room. Joseph Seed knelt on the wooden floorboards, praying like he always does, _muffled_ words under his breath not clear to her. For a second she hesitates, shaky hand reaching out to grasp his shoulder, fingernails digging ever so slightly into his glistening skin.

“How **could** you..” It takes him a moment to even turn around before she's already screaming at him. “How could you do that to me!?” The pitch rises in her voice, almost a scream as she continues. Joseph simple stares at her, expression blank and never changing.

“You're a **monster!** ” The words are spiteful, bitter tasting on her lips as she glares at him. The man who once was outside has now entered, grabbing Grace under the arms and pulling her back – her light weight easy enough to lift her into the air. “Come on Grace. _Stop_ \- ”

“You're a monster! **You killed her!** ” Her screams are loud, her throat raw and painful but that doesn't stop her from lashing out. Grace is doing her best to get away from the mans arms, _kicking_ and screaming her she doesn't have the strength. Grace can't even defend herself even if she wanted to. It's the expression on Joseph's face that sends _shivers_ down her spine, it makes her blood run cold. It's the same stare her **Mother** would give her if she stepped out of place.

The emotions come crashing down on her, the anger down changes into deep sorrow, the tears that threatened to spill now coming down her heated cheeks. The bigger man lets her go, simple laying her feet down and Joseph simply waves him away. ”You can leave.” Is all he mutters and the man is gone in an instant. Grace isn't a threat here, emotions a flurry and she is scared.

Before Joseph can say anything to the young woman she has already followed the man behind her, walking out the door. Joseph is quick to follow, leaving everything behind to chance then woman out the door. She can't do this right now.

“Grace - “ His voice cuts through the sound of her whimpers, the sobs continuing. ”Grace you have to _listen_ to me.” The mans longer legs make easy work of the gap between them, hand reaching out to grab her wrist and pull her back before she can get any further. She can't look at Joseph right now, her eyes set on the ground.

Rough hands come up to hold her face, grasping at it and never letting her tear her gaze away. If Grace could scream right now she would - but all she wants to do is cry. “ **Look at me.** ” His fingers brush the tears away, just above her cheekbones. ”You have to listen to me Grace.” His voice is demanding, he won't take no for an answer and Joseph is _determined_ to get his point across. 

All Grace can do is quietly cry, trying her best to stop the tears, her lip still quivers, her mind screaming at her to run and go back home - but she can't, it was too late now. ” _Why.._ ” Her quiet voice cracks in the night air, it sounds just as **broken** as she looks right now.

Joseph is as gentle with her as he was when they first met, soft and comforting even as he speaks. ”I **promised** no one would hurt you and I have kept that promise, _haven't I?_ ” The words punch her in the gut, he is right after all. Never has he done anything wrong to her..till now. “Your Mother was stopping you from seeing the Path laid out _clearly_ I'm front of you. She was leading you **blind** Grace. I would do the same for anyone else.” He makes that last bit clear, hands still holding her face gently as she processes the information.

_“Blessed are those whose lawless deeds are forgiven, and whose sins are covered; blessed is the man against whom the Lord will not count his sin.”_

Grace brings up a hand to grasp his own, fingers curl around as he speaks.  
“It was the **right** thing to do - God will forgive and I hope _you_ will as well.” He let's her go, arms curling around her smaller frame into a hug, pulling her against his own body. “I am sorry. _I truely am._ ” A kiss is pressed to her forehead, light and barely brushes against her skin. The anger has long left her body, replaced with the dread and sadness that has **consumed** her. She wants to cry but she is dry. No more tears tonight. No matter how angry or sad she is right now, she just can't turn her back on the one man and the family that she has come to _love_ as her own. Her energy is no more, too weak to even stand so she simply rests her head on his chest, letting the man hold her for a little while longer.

“You'll understand one day.”

Everything over the past few weeks comes to mind. The moments with Rachel, the runs, the meals together, this place was her home, these people her family. No one has a **perfect** family and for once Joseph might of done the right thing no matter how much she tried to tell herself it wasn't. Killing was wrong, but for once – _maybe_ this could be given a pass.


	6. Know your place

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Grace is slowly learning her place in this new family of hers.

Grace wakes up to a tear stained pillow, fabric sticking to her face as she moves to sit up. The room empty and she realises she is alone; she doesn't need eyes on her this morning. A hand comes up to brush through her knotted hair and the events of last night are a sleepy, **hazy** blur. Almost like a dream, _but this sadly isn't one_.

She doesn't remember much; the **warmth** of his body as he pressed hers against his, arms curling around her - so safe and protected. But there was that bitterness, that tension in the air that made her want to throw up. The bile **burning** the back of her throat as he keeps her close. _She's scared_. She's scared of **him** , of what he can do, but she knows he won't hurt her. It's a gut feeling. These mixed emotions are causing a headache and it's too much for her right now.

The next Joseph is walking her back to her cabin, the two shadows behind them side by side as they walk slowly under the night sky. No one else is around, the sound of crickets quiet in the distance and the light flicker of candle light is the only thing coming from her cabin. It's a brief interaction, the hand that was on her waist _leading_ her like a Shepard and his flock - has now moved to lightly squeeze her shoulder. His last words echo in her mind “We'll talk tomorrow. Goodnight Grace...” It's her hand that reaches out that makes her wants to **punch herself** in the gut, quickly recoiling in on itself as she watches him walk away. As soon as she climbed into bed Grace was knocked out, sleep consuming her and knocking her out into a deep sleep.

.....

Her eyes fall on the dress laid over the end of her bunk bed, sticky note attached and she knows who it's from before she even reads it. The lace _peeks_ out the bottom, the tiny details and stitching just shows that the girl knows what she's doing. It's a simple white dress, but it's the details like this that makes it **special**. The smallest of smiles form on her lips, lifting the dress up and feeling the soft fabric before reading the note.

_“Don't sleep in too late, I made this dress just for your baptism and I'm dying to see you in it. We’ll talk later. Rachel x”_

A shaky sigh is released, yet her focus is quickly broken by a swift knock at her door - the voice of someone she has not heard from in a while. John Seed.

“ **Grace** \- people are worried about you. You've been in there _all morning_..” His words drift off, an **irritated** groan is heard on the other side of the wooden door before he speaks again. ”Just don't miss your baptism tonight..you don't want to _disappoint Joseph_.” He emphasised the last two words, the **gagging** reaction quickly back as she raises a hand to her mouth. _“Please leave John.”_ She doesn't want to hear his name right now. Before she can reply John has already turned to leave, muttering something or to _someone_ on the radio.

It doesn't take her long to get ready, the dress burning a hole into the back of her mind as she gets dressed. Grace decides not to do her work today, she needs some time away, away from the family, away from _him_.

She spends most of the day outside of the compound, surrounded by flowers and the distant sounds of shouting in the distance. Grace needs some alone time, just some time away from the **madness** and to think for herself.

It’s late afternoon by the time she wakes, curled up in the long grass, arm pressed against her face. The baptism slowly approaches and in a few hours she'll be with them again - she'll be reborn, a new person, she can only hope that is true. Born again as the angel she was. _Pure and innocent_. If only it was that easy..

.....

The light breeze in the air causes a _chill_ down her spine as they stand at the waters edge, Rachel had found Grace not long before, crying into her shoulder and her muffled words were hard to make out – something about being a bad friend but she excuses that. Grace can't be mad at **Rachel** , she did nothing wrong, she didn't know. _She doesn't know what really happened_.

Hand in hand they stand there for a while, watching them one by one as they enter the waters, the breeze, the soft ripples across the surface and the word of Joseph preaches from John’s lips. The silence is _uncomfortable_ , Grace fidgeting on the spot, her mind can't help but wander to the events of yesterday – Joseph is standing there, one by one they go under the water and for a split second their eyes meet, quickly broken by Grace looking away. Even Rachel can feel the tension on the air, giving the young woman’s hand a squeeze. ”You’ll be _fine_ , it only takes a few minutes..” It's then she turns her head, looking her up and down. ”You look _beautiful_ by the way..” A smug grin spreads across Rachel’s lips. ”Of _course_ you do, **I made that**..” Grace can't help but smile at that, letting her friend relish in her masterpiece, smug or not.

Rachel is right though, one by one they take their turn, water dripping from their clothes as they leave the lake – quickly going back to wrap themselves up in something warm and sit by the fires.

Then it's her turn, heartbeat fast, pounding her chest so hard it **hurts**. That nausea is there again, yet she swallows down that feeling. Now is not the time. The Father - _Joseph_ reaches his hand out, urging her to take it. It takes her a moment to pull herself together, sinking herself deep into the murky water below, the chill sending shivers up her spine. Damn herself for being so **short** , the water coming up past her waist. It takes everything in her to take his hand, heat radiating off his skin, her fingers curl around his own - her mind is screaming at her to just turn and _run away_ but she can't. She doesn't have it in her to show that disrespect and her eyes lock on his, the predator and his prey. His grip tightens for a moment, pulling her closer to him and Grace can't help but let out the softest of sounds, almost a _gasp_ in the uncomfortable silence. 

“We must wash away our past. We must expose our sins. We must atone..”

It’s Joseph’s words that are whispered into her ear that catches her attention.

“Do you **trust** me?..” It's quiet enough for no one else to hear, just for their ears alone. She is a _fool_ , a broken girl that has no trust in anyone – except him. _Only_ him and this family. The nod she gives is all he needs before he gently takes her fragile form, pushing her down into the depths below into utter darkness and letting it envelop her and her senses. The echoes of John’s words are muffled in her ear and Grace can just make it out.

_“For only then may we stand in the light of God..and walk through his Gate unto Eden.”_

\- Grace knows she been under there too long, darkness edging into her sight light flicking in and out her vision, as her body goes into panic mode her hands come up to grasp his arms, fingernails digging into wet skin. She's about to kick when he pulls her back up, pressing her against him yet again, the words he whispers into her ear makes her blood run _cold_. 

“You don't need anyone else Grace. Eden's Gate, this family - myself, I can save you. No one else can drag you out of the darkness you have in your soul. You're **pure** and I want to protect that last bit of _innocence_ you have” He leans in closer, eyes glancing up to stare at the others before him. ”Only _I_ can do that. I am the only one that can protect you - _and no one is getting in the way._ “ He suddenly releases her, almost dropping her into the lake yet again. Before Grace can react she is guided away by another follower, quickly wrapped in a blanket and is taken away - the last thing she sees is Joseph still staring at her. His eyes baring **deep** into her soul, for a second she _forgets_ how to breath. That charming charisma if only shattered for a moment sticks with her for a long time. He isn't someone to be messed around with.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought some people might of been confused by Joseph's choice of words at the end. I wanted it to be more of a warning, a threat almost. It's words that are only for them to hear. 
> 
> More him letting her know that he won't let things slide that easily, that she can't just do what she want. That there are rules still set in place and if you step out of line it will be punished. I hope that clears it up a bit.


	7. God's Blessing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning for blood & harm near the end of the chapter. 
> 
> As always feel free to message me over on Tumblr or Instagram at @Ariestals

Grace had been avoiding him for a few days now, a  ** week  ** in fact. Every sermon she wouldn’t sit in her usual seat at the front – the back seat had recently become her  _ favourite  _ spot. Every time  Joseph’s gaze would fall on her she would look away, avoiding eye contact. She didn’t want to talk to him let alone look at him. The monster. 

Whenever Grace found herself crossing paths with  him she would hide, whether it was behind something or in a building nearby. She wasn’t going to give him the  ** satisfaction  ** of her presence. With all this going on she hadn’t even noticed the bruises that had formed the day after the baptism, blue and purple hues lined her upper arms where he had gripped them so tightly. They had begun to fade thankfully, into a horrible grey and  _ green  _ tone that was hard to cover up, especially with the dresses Rachel had given her.

In fact, she hadn’t seen John nor Rachel for a few days now and worry had set in. She had begun to feel uneasy again and Grace couldn’t help but feel like she had eyes watching her everywhere she went. She missed them, that was a fact – more than that  _ scum of the Earth _ Joseph right now. 

It was as she hid from the others behind the Church, tucked away in a patch of grass and flowers she heard footsteps  approaching , god did she pray it wasn’t him. And it wasn’t, _ it was John _ .

The young woman goes to stand but he gestures her to sit, and joins to sit beside her. He doesn’t say anything for a moment, just a quick glance over. 

“Where have you  ** been ** ?.. ” Her voice is quiet, defeated almost as she gives the man a once over. He seems fine at least.  However his eyebrows knit together, guilt almost crossing his features and he sighs. “ _ Look  _ Grace -  “ Another pause, as if he’s trying to think of the best way to put this.

“Joseph means well - “

“Not another  _ word  _ Jo - “

“ - No Grace,  ** listen ** .” A shake of his head, a hand reaching out to rest on her shoulder. The first warmth and  kindness she’s experienced in a while. “What Joseph does, it’s for all of us; me,  ** you ** ,  _ Rachel _ , the family ” He strains Rachel’s name. If only he would tell her where she was. “He cares, even if his ways seem  _ twisted  _ and wrong.” 

Grace just falls silent, disbelief crossing her face. She wants to shout at him, scream at him – just tell him how  _ stupid  _ he sounded right now. John just pats her shoulder, goes to stand yet Grace pulls him back down by the sleeve of his shirt. She can’t lose John now, not with a silly  ** childish  ** argument.

“Just  stay..a little longer  _ please _ . I could use the company.” 

He doesn’t argue with that and she holds back that anger for now. 

…..

John and Grace stayed like that for a while, just enjoying  each other's company, listening to the water, watching the fish as they make their way down stream. It’s peaceful – even if it’s just for a short amount of time. He seemed to enjoy the break from the chaos around them as much as she did. He seemed to understand, and she’s grateful for that. 

Once he  leaves, she doesn’t see him again for a few days yet again, he seems busier these days and Grace still hasn’t seen Rachel. Worried is an understatement. 

However she is praying to God, and  _ thanking  _ him when she goes back to their cabin one day and sees the woman standing there – as fresh as the day she had joined and seemed to be  _ glowing _ . But Grace has no time to be staring, she’s already rushing towards her and pulling her in close for a hug before the other woman can react. 

“Where the  _ hell  _ have you been Rachel. I’ve been worried  ** sick ** **! ** ” 

Rachel just turns and give Grace a small smile, moving to sit on the bottom bunk, gently patting the space next to her. 

“We need to  talk.. ” 

…..

The next time she sees Joseph he’s in his office, working hard on paperwork, scribbling notes down and never raising his gaze until she shuts the door behind her. 

“ _ Grace _ ?” He’s surprised to say the least, she hadn’t spoken to him nor given him a second glance yet here she was standing before him. The pen in hand has been dropped now, focusing his full attention on the young woman and leaning back in his chair – he gestures towards the seat across the table. 

“Please,  ** sit ** .”

Grace hesitates for a moment, hand  fidgeting with the fabric of her dress before moving to take the empty space. It takes everything within her to not just yell at him but she will control herself.  _ She has standards _ . A moment passes and she is silent,  _ studying  _ him, judging him – just scared of what he’s going to say or do next. Yet she’s the one that speaks first,  ** she’s  ** in control of the situation right now,  _ not him.  _

“Rachel told me what you did..” Her voice trails off. “Or should I say  _ Faith  _ now?” The woman leans forward, urging him on. “Was you ever going to tell me?” He interrupts - “Is that  ** jealously  ** I hear in your tone  _ my dear Grace _ ?” She glares at him, taken back by his words almost.

“Why would I be  _ jealous _ ?” 

Joseph simply smiles at her from across the table. He’s playing with her, gestures with his hand a shrug like action before he continues. “She’s loyal, works hard, she has a place in  _ all  _ of  this.. ” For a moment he gives her a look, a look of  disappointment before he continues. “Not to say you’re not, you work harder than  ** most  ** of them out there – you're just not  _ ready  _ for that.” It’s a dig at her, he knows what she’s been through and the effect he has over her. Her mental health is not up to par is what he is trying to say.

Joseph moves to stand and walks over to her, she’s frozen in place – stuck against the wooden back of the chair as she’s pressed back into in. Most of it  ** fear ** . “My dear Grace, I have another plan for you.” A hand is raised as he takes her gently by the chin, tilting her head  _ ever  _ so slightly. “Do you  ** trust  ** me?”  Them words again, they have a different meaning now after what he did to her last time. 

Grace just mouths the words - “ _ Yes _ .” 

It’s the smile that he gives her that brings back that nausea, that feeling deep in the pit of her stomach. Yet the way he’s gently holding her chin, the way he holds her like she’s the most fragile thing. She’s a ragdoll, weak in his arms, weak to his touch. 

“I want you to work for me,  _ with me _ in fact.” Grace doesn’t really know what he means till he gestures towards the paperwork on his desk. “With the Collapse coming I have a lot to do. Too much for one man to handle – which is why I want  ** you  ** to help me.”

Before Grace can even answer it’s like he knows already, and simply takes a step back, releasing her from his clutches. “But first there’s something we have to do.” He’s already on his way to the door, Grace a little stunned and taken back by what just happened – yet she is quick on her feet, following behind him like a puppy. Grace really is a fool,  _ she never learns _ . 

…..

Joseph takes her back to the  Church, darkness falls upon them as they enter the silent wooden building. It takes him a moment to set up, candles quickly alight the room. Grace is standing there  awkwardly , watching him as he moves things around, pushing things away to clear the space in front of them. It’s his voice that calls towards her that brings her out of her daze, hand reaching out for her to take.

“ _ Come _ .”

She doesn’t think about it, letting the man pull her in – the devil pulling her into the darkness. Grace takes him in, the way his skin glistens from the candle light, the loose strands of hair on his forehead, the way his visors nestle on top. Yet she remains silent, watching,  _ waiting _ . 

“I want to give you my blessings,  _ God’s blessing _ in fact.”

She doesn’t really understand what he means till he continues.

“I promised you many things, protection, love from this family. I want  ** God  ** to guide the way for you, and leave this as a  _ reminder _ .” 

Joseph studies her face for a moment, pure, unknowing, innocence. The hatred she had from him earlier quickly gone and had been replaced with this innocence and curiosity. Gentle hands come to rest on her shoulders, pushing down. “Kneel there, I’ll be back in a moment.”

It’s the wooden floorboards that meet her knees, not the most  _ comfortable  _ situation but she simply obeys. He is quick to come back, yet the thing that he has retrieved causes her heart to jump, the pace quickening at the mere sight of it.  ** A pocket  ** ** knife ** **. **

Grace doesn’t dare move though, not knowing what he is going to do with it. She’s stuck there in fear. Joseph notices that shift in the air, that uneasy tension she brings yet again. The guilt settles there in the pit of his own stomach – yet he won’t turn back now. 

“I will not lie to you my dear Grace, this will hurt.” Her heart skips a bit, a stabbing pain in her chest at his words as he reaches out to brace her shoulder, just the one this time as the knife is in his other hand. “Just stay still..”

Before she can protest the metal is digging into the skin, right between her eyebrows – deep, painful,  _ bliss _ . Her hands curl, fingers reaching up to grab at his wrists that are holding her down. “ _ Joseph _ ..” His name is hissed between chapped lips – yet he doesn’t stop. A whine escapes her lips as he continues, the stench of iron fills the air and makes her feel  ** sick ** . She can feel the blood dripping down her face, it  ** tickles  ** her nose, down her cheek and even brushes her lips.  _ It’s messy _ . Tears threaten to spill yet she doesn’t, she tries to remain strong, her grip still tight on her wrists as the blade continues. Her eyes simply focus on his chest and stomach, glancing over his own tattoos and scars that litter his skin. Yet her eyes catch something she didn’t expect – the freshy cut one that lines  _ dangerously  _ low on his stomach,  ** lust ** , red raw and only just healing around the edges. Even their  _ own  _ shadows overshadow them, casting a darkness on the back wall of the Church – the cult symbol shining through and the candle flames continue to flicker.

She’s silent for the rest of the time, as soon as he’s  finished he quickly cleans the wound, brushing ever so gentle across it to not make it hurt  any more than it already does. 

“ _ There _ ..” His own words are quiet, scratchy and a whisper. A kiss placed upon the freshy made mark, the warmth of his breath against her skin sends shivers down her spine. The smell of blood lingers in the air, freshy used bandages and blood covered ones are scattered across the floor. 

“Perfect.” 

Grace continues to kneel on the floor, her hands had long left his wrists and now curl into her  blood-stained dress. Mixed emotions  _ dance  _ around her mind, she’s a mess and she  knows it. Clinging so  desperately to his affection no matter how dangerous or insane he was. He is her lifeline, she trusts him more than she trusts herself and as her gaze  _ finally  _ looks up to meet his own, the tension no matter  ** what  ** it was currently was thick and filled the air between them - the whole Church for a matter of fact. 

That same quote she had read plenty of times in books echoed in her mind as Grace stared at the man before her. She  ** finally  ** understood. 

_ “And the sweet little angel couldn’t keep her eyes off the devil.” _


	8. Time for change

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I guess this is a shorter chapter, sorry for all the drama and angst it will slowly calm down now 😅
> 
> As always feel free to contact me over on Instagram or Tumblr at @ariestals ♡

They stay like that for a while, simply kneeling on the Church floor. The drawn-out silence uncomfortable and only adding the tension that is already _thick_ in the air. Grace never lets her eyes move away from him even for a split second as he turns slightly to grab more medical supplies and Joseph is too occupied with the task to say a word to her as he begins to clean the wound up properly. As he carefully dabs the fabric with alcohol and goes back to her forehead the sting is a **blissful** reminder of what he's just put her through. Grace knows this isn't the last time she'll experience pain like this, this man being the centre of it.

“ - _I hate you_..” The words are a mutter under her breath as he dabs carefully not to cause any more pain. Yet it's a soft smile that pulls at Joseph’s lips, a quick glance down to meet her gaze before going back to his cleaning. ”I know you do.”

It’s as time passes her legs become numb from being in the same position for long so she simply stretches her legs out beside him, Joseph quickly finishes up and gives a sigh. “There.” A soft kiss is pressed to her forehead as he goes to stand, brushing himself down and staring at her blood-stained dress. “Let me bring you a change of clothes - it's the _least_ I can do.” His concern makes her scoff, a roll of her eyes as Grace stands herself. “Don't bother Joseph.. _Faith_ made me a few..” The man simply rests a hand on her arm, ever so gently he's barely touching her at all. “I am sorry Grace. For everything.” He doesn't mean that. He doesn't care and she knows it.

“ **Don't** , I don't need this from you right now.” Grace simply pulls her arm away, brushing herself down and moving to leave the Church. “I'll see you tomorrow..” And with that she's gone. Grace is careful on the way back to her cabin so no one spots the fresh blood on the once pure white dress. She doesn't understand why it's all so confusing, she thought it would of been a better life for her but so far all it's been is more pain, more torture, _more confusion_. Grace just wants to breath.

.....

The next few days are torture, Marlene the woman she had lunch with before is sitting with her again at the table. She doesn't stop asking Grace about the new wound that's suddenly appeared. ”I _tripped_ that's all..” Is the same excuse she keeps using but Marlene isn't stupid. She's a grown woman, much older than the younger one in front of her. Marlene just gives a sigh, reaching out to pat Grace on the hand. “I know it's been hard for you since Faith left..” Even Marlene is coming to terms with her new name. ”And I've noticed you've been around the Father a lot more..” Concern laces her words. It's as she pulls away and picks her tray her she gives the young woman at the table a smile – soft yet pained.

”Just know I'm here if you need anything Grace..”

As Grace watches the woman walk away she's suddenly lost her appetite and pushes her own tray away. She won't drag anymore people into her mess, **they don't deserve it**. Grace is finding herself digging deeper into a hole that sadly she can't climb out of. She's too far gone and everything around her is making it worse.

.....

That evening she finds herself back in Joseph's office like she has been the past few days. They've _barely_ spoken, Grace knows what to do and prefers to not bother him as he's working away at the opposite end of the table. She can't concentrate, like the man is watching her at all times but she knows for a fact she's just being paranoid. It's then Joseph stands from his chair, making her jump and glancing over at him. He doesn't say anything and simply leaves the room - god knows how long he is gone for.

And for the first time in the past few hours Grace finally feels her muscles relax, shoulders less tense. Her hands are shaking, pressed flat against the table and she can finally bring herself back to reality. _”He won't hurt you Grace. He promised.”_ Is what she keeps telling herself at least. She only hopes that it's true. It's the clicking of the door that makes her look up, yet it's not what she expects – Joseph walking in with a tray in hand, cups of tea, **two** in fact.

She’s taken back for a split moment, leaning back in her hair as the man places the cup in front of her, giving her a quick glance before going back to his own seat and back to work. No words spoken between them again. Grace doesn't drink from it this time.

The tea has long gotten cold when Joseph decides to pipe up, putting his pen down and watching the young woman across from him. She's stressed, he can see that yet so is he.

“Grace.”

She doesn't look at him, just stares down at the papers in front of her.

“ **Grace**.”

It’s harsher this time, threatening. Her gaze automatically shifts, meeting his gaze with her own.

“I know things have been.. _difficult_ for you. You have to remember this is all for a good reason. It is all part of the big plan - the Path set out for us. You have to have Faith.” He glances down at her own cup of tea, still full and stone cold. “Everything I do is for the Project, this Family and the Path, you **have** to understand that.” Joseph’s back to staring at her now, his own hands pressed flat on the table.

Grace is silent for a moment, staring him down, hands curl into fists on the table. She doesn't even realise her bottom lip quivering before she starts speaking – voice harsh and raw. “A good reason? _Killing_ my Mother, hurting **me** , what you did to _Rachel_? - all of this is for a _good reason_?” She scoffs, shaking her head as she stands from the table. For a second her head is telling her not to do what she's about to do but at this point she's done with it all. Done with him.

It takes a few steps but she's standing in front of him, for once towering over him and no longer cowering at his presence. Finger pointing, teeth gritting. ”You don't know what's **good** for me Joseph. You like playing games with me, with my mind - _you enjoy it_. You enjoy seeing me squirm.” She can feel herself getting tearful but she won't amuse the man. ”You're sick and twisted.” Grace's breath catches in her throat, the words struggling to come out.

“You're _killing_ me and I can't take it anymore.” She breathes in and lets it out, shaky and uneven. ” _I can't take it anymore Joseph_..”

And for the first time in a while she just lets it all out, curling in on herself. ” _I can't_.” She's shaking her head, arms wrapped around herself. If only the ground would just swallow her up it would be better than living like this. Her sobs only continue to grow as Joseph finally stands, pulling Grace in for a hug no matter how much she struggles, wriggling and squirming in his arms only makes it worse. Her fight is short lived, burying her face into his chest as she cries. She's so tired, **exhausted** in fact. Everything between them both, back and forth - these mixed feelings and emotions. She's knows he's playing with her but Grace can't help but let it continue. She's desperate and is breaking in front of him again. Over and over like a cycle.

“I can't do this anymore...”

Josephs grip tightens even more, _gently_ rocking her back and forth as they stand on the spot, he's hoping to help calm her but it only seems to make it worse. He thought he was doing the right thing, but maybe for once in his life the voice was **wrong** , maybe it was time for him to do what he thought was right for a change. Things had to change.


	9. Brother Jacob

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been struggling with writing recently but let me know what you think!
> 
> Instagram & Tumblr: @ariestals

It's been months since the incident, Grace simply gets on with her life like normal. Over the past few months she's quickly come to terms with what's happened; with Rachel, with Joseph - she _accepts_ it. She keeps her head down and gets on with her work.

Every now and then Grace finds herself travelling to different regions, visiting John and Faith was a pleasure but she had yet to step foot in Jacobs. Faith always kept their conversations short but sweet, bringing up anything about the past only seemed to make things awkward. With John he was a breath of fresh air, taking the time to comfort her when needed, going along with their playful banter towards each other. _Joseph never questioned it._

The scar that now lived in between her eyebrows had quickly healed, no thanks to Marlene back at the compound who helped her look after it. Joseph wasn't the **best** when it came to medical attention and deep down she still hated him for it. On the plus side Joseph had begun to become softer with her, treating her with a little more kindness than he had when she first joined. He hadn't physically harmed her, not since the whole scar incident and instead he was careful even laying a finger on her - it made her _flinch_ even if he brushed his hand against her by accident.

It was after their breakfast and sermon that Grace had been called to the front of the compound, a couple of trucks lined the road and she knew they were heading out again. The extra cars were simply for safety reasons since both her and Joseph were heading out. It was as Joseph walked up to the cars Grace tucked her hands into her pockets, the weather over the past few days had changed - a chill in the air. The jacket was _far_ too big for her, but she's grateful she can keep warm. She's never dealt well with the cold.

“You didn't tell me we were heading out..” Annoyance hinted in her tone, lips pout as she's staring at him.

“Because I knew you would be **against** it.”

_“Don't be smart with me..”_ It's merely a thought, she wouldn't speak out with other people around. A groan escapes her lips as she moves to climb into the truck.

“Fine - where are we going?”

“To visit brother Jacob.”

An even **bigger** groan.

.....

It’s even colder as they head up the mountains, the mountain peaks sprinkled with pure white snow, just a flurry in the air. Grace is quiet on their journey up, she's annoyed, of course she is, but she'll just be stubborn and ignore Joseph on the ride up. She doesn't even _amuse_ him with a glance. Grace isn't stupid, she can see him trying to look at her through the mirror but she just turns away even more in his **desperate** attempts. They haven't had a proper conversation in days now.

As they pull up in front of the gates that sickly sweet stench fills the air, mixed with the iron scent of _blood_ and god knows what else makes her sick to her stomach. Grace pushes that feeling back though as she climbs out, simply fixing herself before closing the door behind her. However as she goes towards the gates Joseph stops to stand in front of her, blocking her path.

“ _Yes_?” A questionable look crosses her features again, whatever he's doing it's just making her even more annoyed with him.

“Perhaps it's best if you stayed outside..” He motions towards the river behind, a quick nod of his head. ”Take a break, _I know the smell gets to you_..” His voiced is hushed at that last bit, not wanting to irritate both his followers and Jacob who had just come out to greet them. The man in the flesh, Grace can't remember the last time they had seen each other. He had visited not long ago but Grace just kept quiet, she barely had any conversation with the man. The way he held himself, the way he oozes that **domineering** energy. It makes her stomach turn, the way he looks at her is like predator to prey.

His smile is the first thing he sees, that _smug_ grin that's spread across his rough face. That man has seen things that's for sure, his skin is rough, hair ragged, he's a mess to tell the truth. Jacob never once called her by her name, occasional nicknames till he found the one he liked. _Little bird_. If she had the height and strength Grace is sure she would of given it to him already, one hard punch across that jaw of his.

“I see you've brought along your _little bird_ Joseph” He greets Grace with a nod, only causing her to frown and turn away from him. “She's a **stubborn** thing..” It's the deep rooted chuckle that causes her to walk away even faster. Even the sound of him makes her stomach turn and fists curl.

“Jacob _please_ ” It's almost a plea, his own stubborn attitude mixed with Grace’s current one is not something Joseph needed right now. His hand presses against the older mans shoulder, urging him to move back towards the gates. ”We have more important things to discuss.” It's the glance that Joseph gives Grace before they vanish behind the gates is one that makes her feel guilty - it's the softest smile she's seen from him in a while. He looks guilty himself.

“ _Stay there_ ” Joseph simply mouths before vanishing from view. _Stay there._ Grace lets out a laugh as she steps towards the river. She's not a dog, she's enjoying her freedom for a change.

.....

The two men have been gone for at least thirty minutes, that's what Grace guesses at least. She's keeping herself busy, wandering around the outside fence, watching the deer in the distance as they run through the forest in the distance. It's quiet, peaceful, the cold air a pleasant feeling in her lungs as she takes in a deep breath. The mist her breath brings makes her smile, her childish side is still there. The flowers that used to scatter the ground are now frozen solid, the crunch loud with every step she takes.

It’s after a while the young woman decides to sit down, the ground might be wet but she doesn't care, she just needs to rest. The snow has not long started again, just as before it's just a sprinkle but enough to settle on the ground beneath her feet. It's moments this she enjoys, the peaceful, quiet moments. _Just like that day she spent with John by the riverside._ The silence between them comforting.

It’s while she's peacefully remembering moments like this she doesn't hear the footsteps behind her. The crunching of the freshly fallen slow blocked out by her daydreaming. It's the hands that grab her by the neck that quickly snap her out of her innocent dreaming, and it's not the freshly fallen snow that she sees but it's the flash of red, the **splatter** of her own blood across the pure snow. Grace doesn't remember anything after that.

.....

It’s the loud thud of the door opening that causes the two brothers to turn from the map laid out across the table. The cultist barely able to catch his breath as he's speaking - a string of muffled words but they only manage to make out a few of them. _Grace and hurt._ It doesn't take them even a second before they're both out the door, pushing past anyone that's in the way. There's no time to stop now, not when Grace is hurt.

It’s the distance sound of growling that she hears coming back in and out of consciousness. Her vision barely makes out their shapes, it's the feeling of arms picking her arm that she leans into - she has no idea who it is though. She doesn't care at this point.

“I've got you little bird” _Oh_ , it's Jacob.

The man is just talking to her at this point, half of it muffled as she's barely able to keep her eyes open. Not far behind she can hear Joseph, shouting god knows what; he doesn't sound happy whatever it is. It's the feeling of the man tapping her arm, telling her to stay awake that she struggles with. The foggy vision, the numbness of her body, and the blood...so much blood - **is she dying**? It's all Grace can think to herself as she relaxes into the mans arms, the building getting closer and closer – before she blacks out. She can still hear Joseph's voice as she fades out and let's the darkness take over.

When will God give her a break.

.....

Grace doesn't know what time it is when she does eventually wake up, her eyes flutter open to an almost pitch black room – just the dim light of a bedside lamp. The numbness is still there, her whole body cramping up like she's been asleep for **days**. Yet it's as she moves she just catches a glimpse of the figure sitting beside her, slump over in the chair fast asleep. Joseph doesn't look comfortable.

She just manages to pull herself up, the tingling pins and needles that shoot up throughout her body makes her grit her teeth. _How long had she been sleeping?_ It's only as she goes to wake Joseph that she realises how raw and dry her throat is, the most painful it's ever felt at least. Her hand goes to touch her throat till she notices the wires, all tangled and hooked up to some machine beside her, the gentle beeping a comfort in the quiet room. For a moment she sighs, leaning back up against her pillow and it doesn't take Joseph long to wake up himself - the lack of sleep clearly evident by his red eyes and messy hair.

At first he doesn't notice her, simply giving her a glance yet it's as soon as she feels the tight **squeeze** of his hand against hers it makes her chest tighten.

“ _Finally_..I was getting worried.”

Her automatic reaction is to pull away but he keeps it there, he doesn't want to let go. ”You need to relax, take it easy..” Slowly he lets his grip loosen, his own hand moving back to rest in his lap. For a second Grace doesn't know what to say to him, a mind full of questions about who, and what happened. But before she can even open her mouth Joseph is already there, putting a hand up to stop her from talking.

“Let me explain..”

It’s as Grace lays there Joseph starts to explain what happened, the fact the cultists had spotted a figure in the forest, the fact they were too slow to stop him from harming her but quickly killed him not long after. The young woman quickly learns he was part of the Whitetails, some group Jacob had a grudge against it seems as he _sweetly_ seemed to put it after entering the room, not long after Joseph had started explaining the situation.

“We're just.. _glad_ to see you're awake. Didn't think you'd pull through..” It's the tone of Jacob’s voice that makes her smile, the kind words are a struggle for him. He doesn't catch her gaze though, he turns away before she even has a chance to say anything. "Just glad you're okay”

It’s more than enough, she doesn't care right now. As Joseph explains further he tells Grace that not long after the man had been killed that was when they were alerted, not only of him but the fact she had been hurt in the process – it didn't take her long to figure out the rest. Jacob doesn't **admit** that he carried her back to get medical attention but she knows it was him, the idiot Is far too stubborn.

It’s as the older brother goes to leave she mutters a thank you to him before he leaves them both, it's the awkward smile he gives her that makes her feel accomplished. Of course Grace is grateful, even if she hates his guts.

As the minutes roll by Grace lays there in silence, simply watching Joseph as he reads his book in peace, the way his brows knit together, his lips pressed together in a thin line, so concentrated. Joseph finally pipes up again, the man loves the sound of his voice it seems which makes her laugh inside. Yet it's the tone that catches her off guard, he seems - _sad_.

“Grace..” Joseph’s voice trails off as he shuts the book in hand and places it on the bedside table. She knows he's serious now.

“This.. _relationship_ ” He's waving a hand between them now, maybe that wasn't the best word to describe it but he carries on. “We need to be **clear** with each other.” He gives her another look, just hoping she understands what he's saying but a nod is all she gives. _Relationship_. What does he think this all is?

“I made a promise to you, you remember that's right? I promised to protect you from harm, to give you the family and love you always wanted.” A sigh escapes his lips, a shaky hand pushed back through his hair – come to think of it Grace has never seen his hair down till now. “Thinking about it now, maybe that was not the best thing to do..” His own mind wanders back to the night she had broken down, the way she crumbled in front of him.

“ - I only seem to **hurt** you..”

Grace stares at him for a moment before letting out a soft laugh, simply reaching out to pat his hand gently. ”Don't make promises you can't keep Joseph..” She pulls her hand away quickly before he can return it, this doesn't need to be anymore awkward than it already is. “It's okay..”

“You've given me more than enough. I might not forgive you completely right now but..your brother _saved_ my life and that means a lot. So don't worry about some little promise..” Grace simply shakes her head, giving him a small smile. Things between them might be awkward and **complicated** but she's still grateful for the fact he welcomed her into this family in the first place. She would of been dead a long time ago if it wasn't for him.

“We'll sort things out..” Is all she says before turning over and going back to sleep. Joseph just watches her for a while longer before going back to his book, sleep is out of the question for him and he'd rather be awake for her if she needs it. 


	10. I'm Fine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the super short chapter and such a long wait, I just needed to get this out of my system.

The light breeze from the open window gentle hits her face, the sun just peeking through the curtains and for a moment Grace forgets she’s still at Jacob’s in that bed. Yet it's as she opens her eyes for the second day Joseph is not at her side like he had been the whole time. The room being so silent suddenly makes her feeling lonely again. _She's almost disappointed._

The minutes go by and that door doesn't seem to budge, no one's coming to visit today. The sound of the Judges outside and yelling from whoever can't seem to control them puts her on edge and makes it difficult for her to fall back to sleep. Grace would be lying if she said she wasn't upset Joseph wasn't there, even if she was still upset with him. Her mind still spins with their conversation from last night.

_“ - I only seem to hurt you..”_

_“Don’t make promises you can't keep Joseph..”_

She's glad no one else is in the room with her cause she **laughs** to herself, she was an idiot. She didn't want to make anything else worse yet there she was practically holding his hand. _Stupid girl._ Her devotion and loyalty had caught up with her, mistake after mistake. Of course she feels guilty and so does Joseph it seems from what he said last night.

Her thoughts are shaken when the door handle rattles and someone enters the room, yet it's not Joseph like she expected, **it's Jacob.** He's fumbling around like an idiot, carrying what seemed to be a bouquet of wild flowers – the most beautiful and biggest she had _ever_ seen; white canterbury bells, eglantine roses, purple hyacinths, meadowsweet - she could go on all day.

“They’re from Joseph..” Jacob pipes up again as he places the vase on the table beside her.

“He wanted to say sorry for not being here, he had a lot of work to do since..well you’re bed bound at the moment..” The man can't look her in the eyes right now, as if he's guilty for what happened as well.

Grace gives him a soft smile, reaching out to pet his arm.

“ _Thank you_ Jacob..I never got to say it last night..”

He doesn't respond to that, just fumbles around again, that tough guy attitude is clinging on for dear life as he quickly turns to leave again. It's adorable really.

“No problem.” And with that the bigger man has left her alone again.

After a while she finds herself being brought some food by an unknown woman, some sort of nurse it seemed carrying a tray with her. For a second Grace eyes the tray, the food isn't exactly the _best_ but it would do, but is the pills on the side that catches her attention.

The woman just gives her a soft smile as she points down at them. 

“You can't eat solid food at the moment, and the pills - they're for the pain.” She trusts her at least; what else does she have to **lose**? Grace can't go around suspecting everyone in the compound. Quickly she pops them in her mouth, a mouthful of water and they're gone in an instant. The food? Of course it's soup, but she's so grateful for it as it soothes her irritated throat.

It doesn't take Grace long to fall back to sleep once the Nurse has given her a check and has vanished again. She falls asleep as quickly as she did last night, deep and dreamless. This is the first night in a long time where she hasn't had nightmares. Maybe for once God has given her a _tiny_ blessing.

.....

It’s late in the evening when she finally wakes up again and to her surprise Joseph is back yet again, sitting in the same chair beside her yet for once it's not her that's asleep – **it's him.** For a few moments Grace just lays there watching him, he looks knackered for one thing, the bags under his eyes a clear indication for that, and his book careful leans on his lap, threatening to fall off at any moment.

She remains quiet however and let him wake up on his own, she doesn't want to disturb him. For once Grace is glad to see him. When he does finally wake up it's a bit of a startle, the poor girl jumping herself when she hears _her name_ on his lips.

“So the sleepy head is finally awake”

It's the warm smile that he receives that makes Joseph raise an eyebrow, it's as if he hadn't realised he had fallen asleep in the first place.

“I was just.. **resting** my eyes...”

That causes her to laugh, a bit louder than she probably should of but who else was around to hear her? “Okay sleepy head..I believe you, thank you for the flowers as well – _they're beautiful_..”

Joseph returns the smile that time round, giving a nod as he places the book on the table. “I'm glad you like them, it's the least I could do for not being here.”

Grace holds that warm smile on her lips, for once he might mean well. Despite him sitting there so calm and seemingly collected she knows for a fact he's sitting there going through everything in his mind.

“How are you?”

“ - I'm fine.”

“Grace, we know after what happened..you are **far** from fine..”

She gives the smallest of laughs, it's bitter. ”Then why _ask_?” Joseph tears his gaze away from hers, fumbling a little with his hands – his fingers have a mind of their own as he picks at the fabric on the edge of his shirt.

“I want to hear it from you directly, not from a nurse down the hall or from my **brother**.” At least he's honest. Joseph isn't stupid, he knows when something is on her mind and it's something he's learnt how to after being around her for so long. Behind that warm smile she holds a **sadness** inside her, it's her sad eyes, the way the corner of her lips twitch, he feels like he's walking on eggshells around her and he's scared of _hurting_ her again.

“I know when something is on your mind Joseph..” Her voice is far too quiet, a whisper in the already silent room.

Before Grace can question it Joseph stands from his seat, grabbing his jacket and grabbing hers as well.

“Come.”

She looks puzzled, eyes _frantic_ for almost a second. ”Joseph I can't leave..” For one she's not completely better and too, it's pretty much the middle of the night.

“Did you forget who is in **charge** here?”

Leaning over the younger woman he carefully removes the wires attached to her, the machines beeping frantically in the background but they pay no attention to it. It takes him only a brief second to wrap an arm around her waist and carefully help her up and out of the bed.

“I want to take you somewhere.."

Is all Joseph tells her before she's hobbling out of the room, jacket thrown lazily on and he's leading her outside. _This was a stupid and careless idea._


	11. Building Trust.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Joseph takes Grace out of hospital to somewhere she doesn't expect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not gonna lie, I feel like my writing has been getting worse and I haven't been feeling it recently. I just hope you guys are enjoying it to be honest. Hopefully this feeling will pass;;
> 
> Instagram @ariestals  
> New Tumblr! @gracethornwood

For one thing his Joseph’s followers wouldn't question him when seeing him walk out with the woman beside him – however they do know that under Jacob’s and the Nurses words that she wasn't meant to leave for another few days. A **week** at least.

Grace can't help but avert her eyes, she doesn't dare look them in the eyes as she scurries past them fingers gripping her jacket just that little bit tighter.

It’s the chill that hits her face first, bitter and painful for just that split second and Grace takes a deep breath in and out. The weather recently had brought on snow, just a _flurry_ of it but still an irritation. Joseph is not that far ahead of her, steps cut short just so she can keep up with his strides. It's a quick dash to the car, more speed walking really as Joseph opens the passenger door for her to slide in, with not much grace as she would of liked sadly and he closes the door without a word.

Grace is alone in the car for just a few moments, sinking deep into her seat and almost wishing she could just **disappear** then and there. She takes a quick glance outside, watching as Joseph holds a conversation with a very confused follower - he's dying to argue with the man but he wouldn't dare. It's _funny_ watching him hold back though, cowardly retreating under Joseph’s gaze. He might be under the watch of Jacob but Joseph was the man he **should** of been listening to.

Another moment passes and Joseph gets the all clear, walking back to the car without any sort of expression plastered on his face. It's blank. Climbing into the driver seat he gives Grace a quick glance, the corner of his lips twitch ever so slightly before they head off, leaving Jacob’s building behind them. Grace knows for a fact this little incident won't be as _amusing_ to Jacob as it is to them.

.....

The trees past by in a blur, the speckles of snow just hitting the window as they continue to drive along the empty road. The drive is awkwardly quiet and for a long time Grace is having a hard time to stop herself from sneaking a glance over at Joseph, she knows for a fact he's not going to be pleased - that's the energy she's getting from him anyway. It's the way his fingers are curled right around the steering wheel, he doesn't dare avert his gaze either and continues to drive with it fixed on the road ahead.

Grace keeps to herself, fingers curled into fists as she tries to keep the heat in. She's grateful for the jacket and the very light yet warm breeze from the trucks heaters but it's not enough. She's surprised Joseph can even handle the cold like this with just his simple jacket.

“Where are we going?...”

It’s Grace that breaks the tension, still keeping her gaze out the window, focusing on the F.A.N.G Center sign as they drive by and head down even more quiet backroads.

“ _Patience_ Grace..” More unanswered questions, she should of expected that.

Joseph's statue draws nearer after a while of driving, the snow only seeming to pick up as they get closer to the huge monument. She's grateful when they eventually stop at the side of the road, a few miles down the hill. Joseph climbs out of the car and helps her out himself, only resulting to her curling into her jacket even more as the wind picks up.

The man keeps her close however, arm carefully draped around her side, one to keep her safe from the weather but two due to the fact she's still a little wobbly on her feet. As Grace and Joseph walk a little deeper into the trees it's the abandoned cabin that she spots first, brows knitting together in confusion. Of all the places he could of brought her, it was an abandoned _cabin_?

As they enter an _eery_ feeling washes over Grace, papers scattered the flood, furniture overturned, photos and memories left behind by whoever once lived here before. It makes Grace suddenly feel uncomfortable as if stepping into someone's life that's not her **own**. She's quiet for a moment, watching the dust settle as the man behind her shuts the door. The sudden drop in her stomach sends a shiver throughout her body.

Then they're alone again. Just as it always has been - 

**Just Grace and Joseph.**

.....

They spend some time simply cleaning the place to get it to a decent standard, just comfortable enough for them to stay there for a while and simply relax. Joseph still hasn't exactly explained the reason as to why he brought her here and what for but she doesn't pull him up on it. In all honesty the woman's grateful for it, just this short period of freedom before she's stuck in that hospital bed again.

Her mind can't help but wander as she watches Joseph from across the room, just like his siblings they're all hard to read, you never know what they're thinking, what they're _planning_. There's that twist in the pitch of her stomach again - and her thoughts can't help but wander back to the times Joseph has laid a hand on her; the baptism, the scar on her forehead - is it really the same man here in the room with her? **Paranoia.**

“Are you hungry?” It's his voice beside her that snaps her out of her deep thinking, his hand hovering just above her elbow - careful to not spook her. Grace simply gives a shake of her head, watching as he retreats his hand, fingers curling in as he nods himself in reply and takes a step back. She almost has the urge to scoff, is he _really_ concerned about her?

“If you do, just tell me.” It's as if he's had this prepared for a while now, glancing out the window the evening had already set in, the roads quiet and just the soft sound of crickets can be heard outside the cabin windows. The fire still continues to burn however, flickering every now and then despite how much time had gone past.

It’s then the man goes off towards the kitchen nestled in the corner of the room, picking up two cups and passing her one. He motions towards the couch comfortably tucked away beside the fire, it's surprisingly cosy for a cabin that had been wrecked by followers not that long ago.

Grace doesn't make a sound, simply taking the cup and letting her fingers curling around to warm up her hands even more. The young blonde takes the gestured seat and waits for him to join beside her – far too close for comfort as she shifts uncomfortably next to him.

For the first time in a long while the tension in the air no longer there, no emotions to stir, no pain in her chest. For the first time in a long time there just peacefully sitting there, drinks in hand. It's the sigh that escapes Joseph that surprises her, that deep tension that he held himself suddenly released and its peaceful. Swirling the liquid in her cup so takes a gentle sip before speaking again, voice barely heard over the crackling fire.

“Will you tell me **now** why you've brought me here?”

Joseph does the same motion, a quick sip of his own drink before he stares at her, and that's all he does - he stares. It's as if his mind is _conflicted_ , for now he is wondering whether he should speak now or not. It would be rude not to, especially after bringing her out all this way.

“I know what it's like...to be abused you know..”

_Oh._

“ **No** , no, no Joseph we don't have to have this conversation - ” Quickly she puts her cup down, reaching out to grasp his arm.

“You don't have to tell me..”

His own brows pull together, he's almost angry at the reaction. She's being **unfair** , the fact he knew everything about her and her own life yet Grace won't let him speak of his own. To build trust you must be honest and this was as honest as they were both going to get.

Joseph can feel the way her finger curl into his arm, tension building up again and it's then he realises it's not being honest that's she's worried about. It's the pain that comes with it, for the both of them. Bringing up the past won't fix anything, nothing will **change** and yet speaking about it openly Joseph assumed it would of been the best course of action.

It’s then Grace’s grip loosens, the tight feeling in her own chest dying down. She knows it's not right to stop him from talking, and she feels bad for the fact he had brought her all this way to tell his own story. It was selfish of her to shut him down.

The corners of her lips curl ever so slightly into a soft, slightly nervous smile. Grace can't help but silently curse herself.

“I’m _sorry_..” She sighs, realising her grip and sitting back - taking her own cup back in hand to keep on drinking. ”Please..continue..”

And so he does, Joseph spends then spends the next hour or more talking about it all; his childhood, him growing up, his teen years, everything up until now. _Including his late wife._ As the conversation goes on part way Joseph had gotten up to make them a second batch of tea, the cups now empty and stuck on the table beside them.

Grace surprisingly had found herself staying awake longer than Joseph, him having fallen asleep not long after their conversation had ended. Standing up she quietly moves to grab the thick blanket just thrown behind her, draping it over the sleeping man and making sure he's comfortable. The laugh that escapes her lips has to be **muffled** , taking the band that simply ties his hair up and letting it loose. Sleeping with it in can't be comfortable. For a moment she simply stares at him, the fact he rarely has his hair down is one thing but it's the painful feeling she gets in her chest when she looks at him during peaceful moments like this - a childlike aura, turned into _this_.

With that Grace can't help but lean in, and places the softest of kisses on his own forehead, a smile pulling at her own lips.

“Goodnight sleepyhead...”

Despite the topic of conversation not exactly being a typical one Grace is grateful for the fact Joseph has decided to be more honest with her, more **open**. Slowly but surely trust is being built and that honesty is making it’s way in. Curling up under the blanket herself she shifts ever so slightly closer to him, hesitating for a moment before resting her head on his shoulder. For once she's grateful to be sleeping beside him than stuck in a hospital bed alone. The usual anger she feels towards him? _Slightly lessened after tonight_. 


	12. Update 9th November

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Update below!

I'm so sorry for not updating this sooner. If you haven't noticed I haven't had the motivation to continue and felt like my writing and story was lacking.

I did think about rebooting and giving this whole story a rewrite but I haven't had the energy to do so. Hopefully one day.

If you have any questions or anything else feel free to message me over on Tumblr @gracethornwood.

Again I'm sorry for letting you all down!


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